i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
