Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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