I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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