Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
