4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Is it because I queefed?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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