just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
