he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Randomize
