She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
