After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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