...so i touched it.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.