I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
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I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
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I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I can't turn off my feet"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this