conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place