Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying