then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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