For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
