Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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