She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
