Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
