He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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