He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
