that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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