Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
