just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
