I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
