1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
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whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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