i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
