you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
