so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We need to get me chipped asap
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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