Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
