I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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