I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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