FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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