I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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