sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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