i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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