Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
