Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
