she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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