Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
