He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
