Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
