I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
