My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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