i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize