I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
