My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
