lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
