We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
