im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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