She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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