You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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