He told me they were just razor bumps!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
BRING THE BAGELS
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn