I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
