I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick