I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
