Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
