Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
