Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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