i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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