i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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