dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
