I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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