you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is it because I queefed?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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