Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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