Im at strip club and am horny
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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