i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
