I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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