if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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