me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
