the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
