Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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