8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
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he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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